A few weeks ago I went out on a Saturday night to a local pizza restaurant with a bar. Gary and I were regulars here for many years so we got to know the owner, manager, chef, and many of the bartenders. Because I know folks, I am comfortable going there by myself and sitting at the bar (which Gary and I always did). For those who live locally, the place is Angela’s Coal Fired Pizza in Tyngsborough – it is awesome pizza!
I had wanted to see the manager but she wasn’t there when I arrived. I enjoyed my glass of wine, salad, and pizza and was getting ready to go when I learned that the manger was on her way. I ordered another glass of wine to wait for her and say hi. She has been going through some physical and personal issues lately and I wanted to check in with her.
When I first arrived the place was packed. I got one of the last seats at the bar. It slowly started to thin out when this man walked in. He was the type of person who you can pin-point from afar – sure of himself and a talker. I’m not an astute judge of characters but he had that sense of bravado about him. He had a leather jacket and a swagger. I was relieved that there wasn’t a seat close to me as I wasn’t in a chatting mode. He proceeded to talk to the man a few seats from me. It was obvious the other guy really wasn’t all that interested but was polite. I couldn’t help but over hearing the conversation. It isn’t worth repeating.
Unfortunately the bar thinned out more and the other man left. Now, the swaggering talker had access to me. I explained that I was waiting for someone but I was polite and chatted with him. Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off being a bitch but that (I hope) is not in my nature. Note to self, in the future move my wedding ring back to my left hand when I am out in public in “risky” situations.
My friend, the manager, arrived and sat next to me. I literally turned my back on the “talker/stalker” and engaged with my friend. That conversation is worthy of another post because she has recently broken up from a long term relationship. Thankfully she understands that her situation is very different than mine but there are also many similarities we could share and I understand her hurt and loneliness. She is also dealing with a medical condition. It was good to catch up.
I really didn’t feel bad about turning my back on the guy at the bar. I had told him that I was just waiting for someone and I hadn’t started the conversation. But, when he left, he gave me a torn off piece of receipt with his phone number! Ugh! I certainly wasn’t prepared for THAT! I certainly didn’t flirt with him, just chatted at the bar as a polite person. It certainly threw me off! I’m not sure I have ever had someone try to pick me up in a bar before – even in my youth!
It made me worry that I send out the wrong signals. Am I too friendly? But then I realized I was making it my “fault” when it really wasn’t. A woman should be able sit at a bar and eat and have a drink without anyone assuming she is looking for something more than an evening out. I thought Match.com and eHarmony are where people turned to now a-days when “looking for love”?
I am thankful that I can go to Angela’s where I have friends and can feel comfortable. But, I have to say this whole situation gave me pause. I guess I should be flattered but I am not ready for another relationship, yet. Maybe someday, who knows. For now I am taking things one day at a time and hoping I am not sending the wrong signals by being friendly!
No harm was done. Just more food for thought on my journey.
Blatantly Life 